A Huge Hole
What now? Television news without Terri? Will cable news cease to exist?
On the flip side, maybe now we can all get back to the Michael Jackson trial.

Sigh.
Whaddya know? The Pope AND Terri Schiavo both outlive Johnnie Cochran. He did so much to elevate ugly ties, rhyming in court and spelling the end of male first names with "ie".

The Panera Chronicles, continued
I thought things between Adam-the-night-manager and I were getting better. I ordered my tuna on croissant as he stared down at the register (again), but this time walked over to give me the receipt I'd forgotten.
He was trying to make up, I thought.
I thought wrong.
When I got my tuna on croissant, it came with lettuce, tomato, and no tuna.

New Nemesis
His name is Adam, he looks like the type of guy who decorates his room with Confederate flags, and he's the night manager at my local Panera Bread.
Last week he effed up our sandwich order, preferred to give us a voucher instead of our money back, and when we got our re-made orders, we discovered he effed up our orders again.
Chip cussed him out and vowed never to go back. Chip spoke for himself.
But when I went into Panera today, freakin' Adam refused to make eye contact with me! What a sandwich snob! He goes on the Nemesis list.

Business in the Front, Party in the Back
And the music for the party's available, too.
I know this is not the first time we've talked mullets on 67 Degrees, and given where I live, it probably won't be the last.

When It Hits the Fan
As is typical on a Friday night when no other reporters are working, a bunch of NEWS fell upon our fair hamlet in Upstate South Carolina. Three men (who were originally on foot) are on the loose after opening fire on a family of five as the fam sat in their car.
That was after a church bus carrying seven-year-old girls en route to church camp ran off the interstate and flipped over three times, and after something else I covered which involved Little Lost Robot (my photog today) picking up a dead cat by it's tail to show it to me.

(Joke was on him. Maggots!)

So we couldn't decide which story I'd front live until the whole suspects-on-the-loose thing happened. At the makeshift command post, I saw/attempted to question the hottest law enforcement officer I've ever seen. He couldn't say much, but he looked hot not-saying much. After I got from the PIO the "important" "facts" about "the case", the far more important business of ID-ing the hot law enforcement man began.

Says Hildebr@nd the PIO: Wait, was it the guy with the rifle across his chest?

There's No Such Thing as a Good Loss
Unless it puts you out of your misery.

St. P's Day
Is it just me or has this holiday steadily declined in prevalence over the years? I didn't even realize it WAS St. Patrick's Day until about five minutes ago.

The Moniker
"What's with the "Jack Foley" alter ego? Has a Jeff Gannonish ring to it," says Curt, who taught me the HTML skills I've since forgotten.

(Jack Foley is my favorite on-screen bank robber.)

Weekend on the Island
Didn't have anything to do, so I dropped in on Drew, Tim and Joe's Manhattan. Mr. Reddy was in town, too. So there was a merging of the friendship circles.

Tim, to Mr. Reddy - "So, what's your favorite kind of energy? Would you say wind?"

To "win" is so relative. 

The Donkeys and Me
Today at work I met more donkeys. Two of them, plus a bonus burro. (Last week it was a donkey and a llama).

Neurotic Concern
Did anyone actually READ Beowulf in high school? I think I got around to ONE of the Canterbury Tales, but only the dumbed-down version, not the one in Middle English. I bring this up because lately I've become concerned I didn't develop high-brow reading habits back in the days of yore, and my brain's gone anorexic.* My recent reading diet? Blogs. Email. Pledged:The Secret Life of Sororities. US Weekly (mostly pictures, so I don't know if this counts).

*Some will argue I do not need a well-fed brain to perform my job. I disagree, because it takes much intellect to carry on with several dudes named Bubba day-in and day-out.

Word for Word...
The messages found in the back of my high school yearbooks. Oh, how I miss the days when an impending Student Council election topped my list of stresses.

“i thInk i am goIng to Invert the capItalIzatIon of my I’s to dIsagree wIth your OCD tendencIes. What am I goIng to do wIth you?” J@red ForIsha, 2000

“Have fun at Mizzou. Why are you going there, anyway? I’m sure you’re gonna miss geography bunches. And I’m sure Mr. Fenney is gonna miss checking you out every single day of the school year. You got good grades cause he wanted to have sex with you. P.S. Your car kicks ass.” Bry@n Fischer, 2000

“I still remember the night we ate TCBY for hours. I can’t believe you ate the 12 cups of yogurt.” Jon@than King, 2000

“Wow, its finally over. I’m reminiscing to the day when we used to stalk that one kid, play volleyball with the drunken gangsta folk...” Tim F!ynn, 1999

“What are you doing this summer? I am going to church camp (major babes). I got to get a tan. I am so white.” Taylor Br0oks, 1997

(For the record, I don't remember stalking that "one kid", but I guess it was a long time ago.)

Notes from Maggie Valley, NC
Once again, I've been plucked from my life of Lucky Charms and Ed reruns to cover news in a remote town far from home. This time, the story's snow, something we in TV news seem to brand as a "MAJOR WEATHER EVENT!"

Lessons learned from working 24 hours straight:
- Don't ever, EVER get Mexican food in a North Carolina mountain town.

- Keep your donkey, mule and horse warm by dressing them in all-weather waterproof jackets.

- The real asses are the only people stupid enough to stand outside indefinitely in single digit wind chills: TV reporters.