Vigilante Justice
My neighbors in the apartment below me apparently left town. I know this because their alarm clock has been going off SINCE FRIDAY MORNING. My brain is trying to escape through my ear just to end the torture.

I called the apartment office three times. Complacent "Brad" says there's nothing he can do because he "doesn't usually just go into people's apartments".

I tried the Sheriff's office, trying to get them to do a welfare check in case some old lady lives there and is currently getting eaten by her cats. But the deputy said he won't go unless I KNOW the identity of the person who could be inside.

So, since Stiles (aka my partner in crime) is here, we're gonna take matters into our own hands.

Someone's gonna have a bag of fecal matter on their doorstep in the morning. You know, as a token of our appreciation.