Men of the Week: Hot in Hollywood
Barack Obama
Al Gore
David Geffen

Snippet from Stiles: Seriously
"She's probably immune from all diseases. And when she gets a cut it probably heals immediately." -on a girl we know who was breast-fed until AGE FIVE

Is the World on its Ass? A 67 Degrees Examination
Let's take a look at the evidence:

-Britney Spears checked into, and then checked out of rehab twice, before checking back in for a third time. Her deadbeat husband (whose car she attacked with an umbrella) may now stand a better chance of getting custody of her babies, which is like giving two kids to, I don't know, Howard K Stern...

-Speaking of Howard K. Stern, have y'all seen the video of Anna Nicole with the friggin' CLOWN PAINT ON HER FACE? The only thing that could make this any weirder is if a giant octopus emerged from the Pacific Ocean and spit up the body of Jimmy Hoffa, who we would later find out is actually Dannielynn's father.

-Tommy Thompson is still running for president.

Someone please wake me up.

As Promised...
Some pictures from the politician-press soup we cooked up at our three-way birthday party.

"The Moaner" and Other Movie-Watching Mishaps
Stiles and I tried to enjoy the film Breach today, only a woman sitting right on the other side of him would do this "Muuuh.... Nnnnnn" back-of-throat moaning thing every few minutes.

The movie had some Catholic overtones and we think the moaning increased in frequency and intensity during references to religion. Don't know what the deal was there, but she's just one of the latest imbecils we got stuck next to at the movie theatre. Let's not forget:

-The heavy breather
-The back-of-chair kicker
-The stupid observation maker
-The armrest dominator

Three's Company

Craddick Crackers
I'm gonna be off this topic eventually, but I just wanted to point out that the Capitol Press Corps got a VALENTINE today from House Speaker Tom Craddick!

Men of the Week of Madness
Bill Oefelein
Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband
Tim Russert

Snippet from Stiles: Mourning Anna Nicole Edition
"Wouldn't it be funny if her son was the father? That's the only thing that would make this story any weirder. If Daniel was the little baby's father."

All the Rage
Sometimes I regret not trying to work in Houston. They seem to have crazy shit happening there all the time! I mean, how about that crazy astronaut love triangle stuff??? Geez.
Here's a funny take I found in The Chronicle: (click to enlarge)


But just when I thought things couldn't get weirder, Anna Nicole Smith dies! Yeah, the world is officially on its ass.

The "Superbowl" Trilogy
Have you been listening to the Grey's Anatomy weekly podcasts? I have. They are calling tonight's episode one of three "superbowl" episodes, because it's supposed to be BIG. Like the episodes following the superbowl last year, when Christina Ricci guest starred and there was the business with the bomb. Can't wait. I'm really hoping to see someone like Dustin Diamond (aka Screech) guest star, I think that would make the episode HUGE.

Yes, This is Our Lieutenant Governor
All right, so South Carolina gets frat-boy Lt. Guv Andre Bauer, who enjoys young co-eds, fast cars and fast times. He'll always have a place in my heart. Here in Texas, we have a Lt. Guv who enjoys another kind of ridin' -- horses. He spends his weekends competing in stock shows and rodeos.

SCENE: The San Antonio Stock Show and Rodeo Sunday. Dewhurst waiting for buzzer in the cutting horse competition. (I don't know what a cutting horse competition is.) Then...

"I took off my hat to wipe my brow and the corner of the hat caught my left contact and knocked it in the corner of my eye. And the buzzer started to call me," Dewhurst said.
"So, here I am fishing around my hand in my eye, trying to find my contact to push it back on my eye, and I cut my eye. Without being able to see out of my left eye -- thank God I got a good horse -- we won fifth place."

He's now walking around the halls of the Capitol with this nasty, veiny red spot in the corner of his eye. Not hot.

Men of the Week: Dudes Who Make Me Laugh Edition
Rex Grossman (MVP for the Colts?)
Rep. M!ke Krusee
D@ve Levinthal

Snippet from Stiles: Dream Jobs
SCENE: The checkout aisle at Lowe's hardware store

"Can you imagine if you worked for Log Home Living? They probably have a star writer. And the editors are like, 'Hey man. Listen. We got this BIG assignment for you up in Wyoming, we want YOU to check it out."

Big Texas Loss

This is the lovely image of the irreverent, Texas-based, nationally-syndicated columnist Molly Ivins posted on the site of her longtime employer, The Texas Observer. I thought it was pretty.

She was the one who nicknamed George W. Bush "Shrub", who got fired from The New York Times for trying to get "gang-pluck" into a story and whose liberal slant was so strong she got banned from speaking on the Texas A&M campus. (She called it one of her highest honors.)

On President Bush: "Everyone knows the man has no clue, but no one has the courage to say it. I mean, good gawd, the man is as he always has been: barely adequate."

On covering politics: "I believe politics is the finest form of entertainment in the state of Texas: better than the zoo, better than the circus, rougher than football and even more aesthetically satisfying than baseball."